★ MASON ★ ADAM ★ ERIN ★ AUSTIN TX ★ $130 LIQUOR BAG ★ ROOTIN TOOTIN ★ CLEAR IS A SCAM ★ MISSED FLIGHTS ★ HOTEL BAR HEROES ★ COWBOY BOOTS ★ BAD DECISIONS ★ GOOD TIMES ★ MASON ★ ADAM ★ ERIN ★ AUSTIN TX ★ $130 LIQUOR BAG ★ ROOTIN TOOTIN ★ CLEAR IS A SCAM ★
The Crew
PROFESSIONAL PIPE LAYERS
🤠
ADAM
THE ENABLER
Bought the domain. No regrets. Hosts friends and chaos with equal enthusiasm. Austin's most welcoming degenerate.
🥃
MASON
THE ACCOMPLICE
Co-architect of the $130 liquor bag strategy. Understood the assignment. May have started the assignment.
✈️
ERIN
THE LEGEND
Missed her flight. Blames Clear. We also blame Clear. Wore cowboy boots and COMMITTED. Rootin' Tootin' queen.
The Sacred Receipt
$130 at a hotel bar. On a bag of liquor. To carry around Austin like groceries.
HOTEL BAR & LOUNGE
Austin, TX
Definitely Not a Liquor Store
Tito's Handle (x1)$45.00
Ranch Water Kit™$28.00
"Emergency" Wine$22.00
Mysterious Shooters$18.00
Bag Fee (plastic)$2.00
Audacity Surcharge$15.00
TOTAL$130.00
"IT'S ACTUALLY A GREAT DEAL IF YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT IT"
The Clear Incident
Erin had a flight to catch. Clear had other plans. A tale of betrayal, biometric failure, and a departure board that waits for no one.
⚠️ OFFICIAL GRIEVANCE #1 OF ∞
"Paid $189/year to STILL wait in line"
— Erin, probably
✈️ FLIGHT STATUS: DEPARTED WITHOUT ERIN ✈️
"The worst part is I could literally SEE the plane through the window.
The second worst part is paying $189 a year for the privilege."
— Erin's Yelp review of Clear (pending)
The Ten Commandments
OF LAYING PIPE IN AUSTIN, TX
Degen Bingo
HOW MANY DID Y'ALL HIT?
Bought liquor at hotel bar✓
Spent $100+ on said liquor✓
Carried it in a bag like groceries✓
Photo w/ possum mural✓
Wore cowboy boots✓
Missed a flight✓
Blamed Clear✓
Bought a dumb domain✓
"One more bar"✓
BLACKOUT. LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY.
HowToLayPipe.com
DISCLAIMER: No actual pipes were laid during the making of this website. This domain was purchased impulsively and we stand by that decision. Clear is a real company and our beef with them is also real. The possum is our spirit animal. Keep Austin Weird. 🦝
Three friends walked into Austin and chose chaos. They laughed until they cried, drank until they forgot, and created memories they'll never let each other live down. That's not degeneracy. That's friendship.
(But seriously, Erin, download the airline app next time)